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Short Story - Eternity/Blackness, Pt. 2

Writer's picture: Kaylin AlexanderKaylin Alexander

Updated: Jun 3, 2023

Yesterday I talked about my short story in script format that I wrote for my theatre class, and today I'm talking about how that became the short story in my creative writing class for my semester final.


The only real thing that I kept from "Eternity" to "Blackness" (which I was forced to come up with because it needed a title and I had literally nothing else) was Mariah Kent and Ben Adams, although Ben was now an FBI consultant and fringe scientist. The short story was completely different, but the name of the cop was still the same.


If I ever am to adapt this into something, it will likely be short stories, novellas, or an anthology. I love the dynamic I have between Mariah and Ben, and they can transfer to many different science fiction mystery settings.


Warning: gruesome death like consistently throughout, a mention of s**cide bombing


This short story starts with Mariah and Ben driving to a mall to check out a strange crime scene. In the food court, there are a bunch of corpses with their veins bulging black and blood staining their skin beneath their mouth, nose, ears, and eyes. Another case in a teenage boy immediately happens at a nearby Game Stop, to which Mariah orders the store be closed to contain what she believes to be a contagious virus, despite the protests of the others inside the Game Stop being locked up and the cops and Ben for her actions; but Mariah believes that isolating the problem is the best course of action.


A police officer then shows signs of the virus, so Ben immediately runs over to the corpse of "patient zero" to take a blood test. He discovers a manmade toxin inside the man's blood, then examines a corpse to find a papercut, theorizing the man was planted as a suicide bomber of sorts, and released the toxins into the air. He then notices that both Mariah and himself have blacked veins, and begins to work on a cure before it's too late.


Eventually, Mariah collapses from the virus just as Ben believes he has something that would work, but as he tries to give her the cure, Mariah knocks him down and injects it in him instead right before she loses consciousness. Ben regains all coherence and strength, realizing that his cure worked. He quickly got another sample and gave it to Mariah, and they hug right before he went to cure everyone else.


When I submitted this, the feedback I got was that the strongest part of the short story was Mariah and Ben's dynamic, which I was super glad to hear. Whatever I will call their series, I want the two of them to be the center of it. I had to rush a lot of story elements due to the 1700 word limit, but I'm really happy with their dynamic, which was what I didn't want to suffer.


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